so I used to live with my sister's boyfriend joe aka ninja joe. ninja joe was crazy and smart, which is obviously a bad combination. he would develop these followers... people who were around either to learn ninjitsu (sp?) from him or otherwise just to follow him around and be entertained. he was extremely entertaining, always coming up with new crazy antics to amuse his followers and whatever people happened to be hanging out at our house at the time.

we had quite a rotating shift of visitors at all hours of the night and day. so one morning I'm sleeping and had unfortunatey forgotten to lock my door the night before. two of joe's followers come busting in my room, with joe standing at the door and grinning. I'm somewhat incoherent since I've just woken up, but I look to see what everyone is so happy about and see that joe has his pants open and what looks like his you know what hanging out of his pants. I'm like "jesus, joe! what the...?" and he's still grinning, then he takes the dildo out of his pants and starts swinging it above his head and laughing. so I'm laughing too now, mostly relieved that it was just a dildo. but I'm wondering, where the heck did they get this dildo (I hardly think they'd spend somewhere around $20 that they don't have just to buy something so silly?) and why is it so important that they felt the need to bust into my room in the early morning to proudly display it to me? they tell me the story about how they went to the park to play basketball and FOUND this thing in the mens restroom. I'm like dude, you're f'ing kidding me, right? please, please do not tell me that you guys just found this thing and brought it home. they're laughing. they think it's the funniest thing. I'm a wee bit amused but mostly grossed out.

so of course this thing becomes the choice party favor for weeks to come. this thing and joe become best friends practically. it's got suction on the back so he's always got it stuck to something, the door, wall, window, guitar, or perhaps a hardhat that he's wearing. they would often set up a scenario where joe would be sitting in the center of the room pretending to be pleasuring himself with this real looking dildo, while a horde of people scattered about our living room would stare on in delight. this would only be done when someone was coming to our house who hadn't been exposed yet to the dildo glory. it would be a great laugh at their expense... some of the looks on people's faces... too great. there were several other jokes they would play with it. but knowing of its origin I never wanted to touch the thing because the idea of it was so disgusting. so of course I became a target, and came home to find it in my bed one day. eewwwwwwwww. I threw it in the trash and washed all my sheets. the next day someone had retrieved it from the trash and the antics began anew.

at some point joe grew tired of the thing and it was subjected to the same fate as everything else that he grew tired with - it was destroyed. he cut it into wee pieces with his sword. the end.