It's been mentioned that I'm somewhat narcissistic. It's true. I think I'm superior, extraordinary, more capable and more efficient than those around me. I am unsure as to what degree I exude this quality or what is considered healthy. But I DO know that the three people who know me quite a bit better than anyone else have each made at least one comment about my higher than thou attitude. I'm so ignorant of the way others perceive me until someone points it out and usually I forget it again soon thereafter. I don't feel I've made any progress socially for a long time. I find that the more often I stay home alone, the more anxious and uneasy I get when I'm in social situations - causing me to want to spend even more time alone. Money issues are depressing me. Not having money to go to school (the one sure positive thing in my life) is depressing me. It's so painful to listen to talk radio right now with all the hyped stories of children being abducted and raped and killed. It hurts enough that I don't ever want to have children. I'm fighting off tears for people I don't even know. It invoked ironically such beautiful feelings yesterday to hear that the rapist who had kidnapped those two girls (who were found!) yesterday in Lancaster was killed. If only all of these people would just be shot upon confrontation instead of being sent to jail, let out on bail, and eventually proved not guilty by our tremendously faulty courts. The majority of these people who deserve to die are slipping through cracks in the system and eventually being released to live among us until time passes and they commit their horrifying crimes again on another person. Another innocent child dies disgustingly, viciously at the hands of someone who should have been stopped the first time around. This is life. This is the way things work. This is the way it is always going to be. I am insignificant and helpless.