I stole a shark from an aquarium. He was really neat looking and I thought it would be cool to own a shark so I stole him. I kept him in a tank that was too small. It was actually just a drawer in a chest of drawers, and not a tank at all. Soon he began to get ill. People tried to convince me to return him but I didn't want to listen. I felt that he was mine and that I knew what was best for him. It was solely my decision and I didn't have to listen to what they told me. Eventually I noticed how ill he had become and I decided to bring him back to the aquarium. On the way there I watched him as he struggled with life. His eyes were only slightly open and I could see he would soon be dead. But I kept telling myself that he would be fine when I got there. Finally I arrived and I put him in the water, but it was too late. In the water he died. They convinced me that at least I could give him a good burial. He's dead. But some sort of salvation would come in giving him a good burial. We chose a nice spot and dug a mediocre hole in the ground. I felt terrible remorse about having killed him. I pushed around his dead body to try to make it fit in the shallow grave and it fell into pieces. So it was just chopped pieces of a dead shark. I kept thinking "I did this". I was full of regret and sadness. Then I woke up.

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"Are you being antisocial on purpose?" a guy at my work just asked as he poked his head inside my office. I sat for a second, unsure of how to answer the question. Then I answered it exactly that way, "I'm not sure how to answer that". I realized that nearly everyone at my work had gathered to chat and eat lunch together and I was still sitting in my office with no desire to come within any distance of that group. No one has ever questioned this behaviour since I've worked here, so I guess I forgot that it's not quite the norm.

On a related note... I made an appointment with a therapist on Thursday. There have been some behaviours that I've made excuses for or chosen not to deal with for a long time and they've been slapping me in the face and threatening to destroy (and have destroyed) things important to me. It's time to change. I've completely stopped doing all drugs - I'm not even smoking pot now - so I can go into this whole-heartedly and perhaps even get something out of it. We shall see.