When I was out doing errands I noticed a hot guy checking me out. He wasn't my type but it doesn't happen that often so it made me feel kinda good. Then I went to the post office and a crackhead held open the door for me and asked about my tattoo. That kinda killed it. Then 20 minutes later on the way out, the crackhead was still standing there holding the door open and I realized he was doing it for everyone. So everything was mostly balanced out in the end.

I just gave a pregnant woman some Robin Eggs (malted milk candy).

Indeed I am, my friends. Indeed I am.