Inactivity seems to promote itself. I'm quite lazy. My days mostly consist of sitting on my ass for 8 hours, then going home and laying around until I decide I'm tired enough to sleep. The only kind of exercise that breaks into my routine is usually sex with Dan, during which (I admit it, sue me) he often does a good majority of the work (I said I'm lazy, remember!?). On days when I'm feeling sluggish, I'll pop an energy pill. Or two. Or a super duper "Yellow Jacket". Those things are fucking hardcore.

Now I'm not fat but I am obviously out of shape. There are no forms of exercise that I enjoy enough to do day after day after day. I like swimming, I don't mind jogging and dancing is the best form of exercise I've found that I enjoy doing on a regular basis. But sadly, I don't anymore (don't ask). One day I'd like to start going out dancing again, but until that day comes I have to find something to do in the mean time. Exercise is not only good for the body, but also for my mind. I tend to be in a better state of mind when I'm practicing more physical activity. And I find that activity also tends to promote itself, which makes a certain someone very happy that he gets to be lazy for a change. Wink wink, nudge nudge.

So, in my attempt to find a means of exercise that doesn't completely bore me I've been picking up videos that look interesting. My last purchase was one I got off eBay for a quarter called David Gray's "Dance Fever". I suppose the price should be some sort of indication to the quality of the flick, but hell, I try to be open-minded so I decided to give it a chance. And oh man, was it ever worth it.

First off, you gotta see the cover:



Is that how you're supposed to dress when listening to techno music? Oh hell, in my usual plain-clothes dancing attire, I was way off!

If you're not laughing yet, all you have to do is watch the first 5 minutes when it shows clips of David Gray's other videos such as "The Funk Factor" where David exuberantly prances around encouraging you to "dance off that fat"! Oh man.

(look! haHAA!)

I've had the video sitting on the counter since I received it in the mail about a week ago because I've been too embarrassed to try it out. But when I was up this morning earlier than I needed to be, I thought "why the hell not?" And I must admit that besides being infinetely funny, it also had me sweating my ass off only about halfway through it. It's a little too fast because they don't teach you the routines, they just do them and expect you to catch on, but it does end up being a good workout because you're constantly moving and trying to keep up with whatever they're doing. The moves reminded me of routines I've seen in some Janet Jackson or other early 90's music videos. Every once in a while the camera will follow one of the blonds over to the side and she'll encourage you by saying something like "now's the time to step it up!" and grinning really big then hop back into the routine.

At one point during the workout I bumped my head on this jangly wind chime type of thing Allie has hanging from the ceiling fan and I froze, hoping that she wouldn't wake up and find me there, "dancing" around like a moron. Thankfully she didn't.

Truth be told I didn't even finish the whole workout because I got winded and slightly bored with the lame routines. Maybe if I actually learn them it will be more fun because I'll be able to keep up.

Overall, I rate the video (on a scale of 1 to 5) a 0 for coolness factor, a 5 for hilarity factor and 3.6 for workout factor.



Next time? I'll be rating Billy Bank's "Tae Boxing". Stay tuned!