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2002-11-07 - 3:03 p.m. - three cheers for being social


So there's this girl at my work who I've been meaning to try to talk to for quite some time now. I mean, we've talked, but most of our conversations have been work related. I've picked up on some sort of vibe from her that I've wanted to follow up on, in theory. She seems like a good person and we seem to have at least a few things in common.

From what I can tell we're both about the same age. We both drink wheatgrass every day. We both stumble uncomfortably through conversations with eachother. I've heard her listening to CDs that I own. We both seem to have this unspoken respect for eachother because we're both sufficiently intelligent and highly capable of doing our jobs. We've both offered to help the other person out with their work load when we're busy. Although our personal style is mostly different, she's the only other girl I know who wears doc boots with skirts. We're both mostly reserved and quiet but when we were at our work party and had a few drinks in us we put on a quite a show doing karaoke to Fiona Apple's "Criminal". (you will forget that last sentence *waves hand*)

I've even considered writing an entry about her before, but decided against it because it made me feel really open and vulnerable that I long to make friendships with people but I'm too scared to actually attempt it. I've mostly just looked on the idea longingly that one day we might become friends. I'll even admit that a couple times when I've seen someone else chatting with her I've felt a pang of jealousy because it seems so easy for them.

My therapist recommended that I single someone out at work (since it's really my only means of interacting with people these days) and try to approach them and engage them in conversation (to work on what you'd call the social skills). I selected this girl as the person that I would approach, but hadn't gotten the guts up to do it and decided recently that fuck it, I don't need friends anyways.

Then today she steps into my office and says "you know, I've been meaning to ask you... did you want to have lunch or just like hang out some time?" I told her that I was glad she asked and that I had been thinking about asking her the same thing except I have a hard time interacting with people. She laughed kind of nervously and said that she's the same way.

Well if that don't beat all.



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